“Yes, hello?”


“Oh, hi uncle. Everything ok?”

“Paula your mother is feeling very sick. Where are you?”

“I´m arriving home in 3 minutes”

“Will you come here or go to Emergency Hospital? Because if you are going to take time to come, we will go with her to the ER now.”

“No, uncle. I´ll just turn the car over. 2 minutes and I´m there.”

My mother was lying on the couch in a fainted state. Nearby was my aunt.

“Paula, your mother was not feeling good. Suddenly she sighed and fainted”

I reached for mother´s fist and soon I realized. She´s gone.

“Aunt, she has no pulse!”

For 40 minutes, I performed PCR. The ambulance came with atropine and equipments, but still no sign of reaction.

Massive heart attack. My mother passed away.

And so many things were left unsaid. So many conflicts hidden “under the carpet”.

What to do with all of it?

Would it have been better to say everything when it was still possible?

Would it have been helpful to say things even with the limited understanding of life that we had at that time? 

What now?

In amidst of so many papers to deal with, my mind didn´t even have space to reflect over my relationship with her. It was definitely not a good one, indeed. And it would probably remain  “under the carpet” for the rest of my life if …

…if it was not for the Great Divine Power to interfere; it has open an opportunity without precedents, to resolve everything once and for all. And none of the wonderful future events that were about to happen did I know at that point…

Usually, when a person passes away, in the funeral, we hear people talking about how this person lived, the moments they spent together, the last talks they had, their last words and so on.

But what´s really going on in the “other side”?

My mentor suggested a shamanic ritual to rescue my mother´s soul from the underworld and guide her to the High World of Tengri – the World of Happiness and Peace.

We did the ritual during a seminar. The mentor told that the ritual was successful and that my mother´s soul was now in Tengri´s High World.

Even without understanding the real meaning of what she was telling, I accepted and thanked her.



Exhausted and weary with all the organization of documents, managing 2 houses (hers and mine), family arguing about what to do with her belongings, lawyers, bank managers, institutes…I appealed to my mentor. I wanted to run away from this world. Disappear. Stay away from everybody indefinitely.

Soon God heard my prayers!

Through the mentor, I received the news – I have the blessing to stay in retreat for one month together with the mentors, doing spiritual practices.

The miracle was coming closer day by day, without my noticing…

Then, one day, my mentor came to tell me he was going to try to contact my mother´s soul, through me, during a Gyud session.

Nobody could predict the result of that session. Nobody knew what was about to come.

At night, everybody gathered at the big room. Priestesses joined the students from many countries, who were seated curious and anxious for what they would witness in the next couple of hours.

During the day, I tried to keep a meditative state, without anxiety or expectations. After dressing myself in the most proper way to the session, I walked towards the big room, already full of students with their notebooks in hands.

Silence was prevailing in the room, but we could feel a certain anxiety, curiosity and expectation in the air.

My mentor explained to everybody:

– We don´t know what is going to happen. We don´t know if her mother will come talk to us. What we can do is to prepare our questions to this soul, if she manifests herself. Prepare questions so that they may help everybody in their spiritual development. Questions that may help Humanity and Earth. Don´t make questions about your love relationships, or if you are going to achieve that new position at work, that you long for. Let´s be altruistic. Let´s ask about what happens after death, how to prepare ourselves during this lifetime, to live after death. Write your questions and pass on to me so that I can ask them in the proper time.

I myself wrote a question and delivered to him – “What happened during the shamanic ritual we performed for your soul?”

I was induced to the Gyud state and with much curiosity I realized – my mother projected ideas in my mind, images, and talked through me:

– You saved me! You saved me!

My mentor who was guiding the session asked:

– To whom are you speaking?

– To my dear daughter!

She was happy. But the words were coming out through my tearful voice, so overwhelmed I was at that moment.

The mentor proceeded with the questions that we wrote.

She answered one by one and I visualized the images in my mind.

– Your daughter asks what happened during the shamanic ritual that we did for your soul?

– I was in a dark place. After I left my body, in my house living room, I saw my sister with my brother-in-law and they couldn´t see me nor hear me. I stayed in this darkness for long time, untill suddenly, this powerfull shaman appeared and I saw a light tube coming from above. She was a powerful shaman. She led me to the light tube. At the beggining I didn´t have strength to go up through it. And the people in the ritual helped me go up. Untill half of it up, the light sucked me up and since then I live in a world of Peace. The peace I´ve searched for a long time when I was alive…

My mentor continued:

– What would you do differently in your life if you could?

– I would stop thinking so much about the past. This was the cause of so many headaches I had frequently.

– People talk a lot about the Final Judgement Day. Could you explain to us what is it?

– It´s nothing like what people say! God shows us with great love, all the important moments of our lives….and at that moment I saw all the moments when I made my daughter suffer because fo my egoism…I felt an immense compassion for her…!

My heart was crying, with a clumsy voice I was trasmiting my mother´s message, and I felt how much my mother was asking for my forgiveness in that moment.

– Your daughter loves you very much and she keeps no sorrow in her heart – said my mentor.

He gave us sometime to recover from the emotions and proceeded:

– Do you know anything about astral larvae?

– Yes. They are terrible creatures. They seem like little insects that stick on the person and suck their forces. Sometimes, it is not even possible to see the face of this person. She/he is covered totally by these creatures.

I saw this terrible image in my mind. I can still recall this image. It stays as a reminder for me to be attentive and aware of what might happen.

 – Sometimes, people ask their deceased loved ones to take care of them. Are you able to help your realtives who are alive?

– Unfortunately no. They think a lot about themselves. Egoism is a barrier to true love. That´s why I can´t help them.

The session took an hour and a half aproximately.

When my mentor took me out of the Gyud state, I opened my eyes and saw around me all the students silent, astonished with so many information. For some minutes nobody could pronounce a word…

The mentor gathered us in a circle and we hugged ourselves altogether. He gave his last words to finish the session and everybody still remaining in that subttle vibration of contacting a person after death, went out to their places.

A spiritual sister approached me and said:

– Tora, have you gone see your face?!

I was still full of the impressions we received and answered a little stunned:

– What? No…!

– Go Tora! Go to the mirror, look how you became younger!

I was already so impacted with the experience, when I got in front of the mirror, I almost couldn´t believe! I seemed like a 16 years old teenager!

After that unforgetable session, my voice changed, my laughter changed, my skin got younger. And the most important – a heavy load got out of my heart. The feeling of a huge rock being removed from my chest, and the freedom to follow my own way, that way chosen by my heart, regardless of my mother´s soul way of life, regardless of my relatives´ way of life.

I would like to quote an excerpt from the book After Death:

“After the Final Judgement, Ian had a clarification given by God:

– God is infinite in everything. He created the Paradise and also these heavy worlds like our Earth, as He couldn´t create one polarity without the other. There would be no heaven without a hell, for He is plentitude. Concepts like heaven and hell, good and evil, ignorance and omniscience are used by Him so that the souls could conceive His Truth and have all possible experiences. And through this conception, become similar to Him. It´s not a punishment nor a reward, it´s infinite knowledge, for God doesn´t teach by means of books, but by means of experiences.

After living the evil, ignorance and suffering, we wouldn´t go back to them, for there´s no sense in the infinite repetition of the same thing.”

At the end of this true story of mine, I would like to express my eternal gratitude to my mentors for helping me so deeply in that moment.

May Peace be in the heart of everyone of us!


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